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Nataraja! Nataraja!
Jaiya Shiva Shankara Nataraja!
(Originally written and published Jan 2010)
Lately I have found myself sensing the increased presence of a deva that I have worked with frequently, and with whom I am invariably connected- Shiva. But the form that I have most closely worked with is not the form of Shiva as he sits in samadhi contemplating his blissful union and oneness with the Divine. No, the form that I have invoked over and over again as I have sat in spiritual practice is that of Nataraj.
Nataraj is the Vedic deva who stands on one foot, perfectly balanced as he dances in a ring of fire. You could spend day after day in meditation on this form of the Divine, as many have, and still uncover some striking and new insight tomorrow. I would like to talk about this deva though in relationship to who we are and what it is that we experience as the cycle of life.
In the form of Nataraj, Shiva manifests as the ultimate and omnipotent Lord, displaying the great powers of the Universe to not only traverse through its own cycle, but to assist us in transforming our lives. A few important concepts to initially look at are as follows:
1) Nataraj has completely united with his Shakti (divine feminine energy), Maha Kali. Kali is the feminine form of destruction- the loving mother who reaches out and rips us out of the grasp of illusion. There are famous stories about Mother Kali dancing her dance of destruction. As she merges with Shiva, Nataraj dances this same dance of destruction.
2) Nataraj is completely encircled by a ring of fire. Fire represents the whole of everything. Fire not only destroys, but it comforts and warms and preserves us. And because it has gone through the process of destruction, it clears out that which is old and no longer serves us so that something new can be brought forth. Fire is a creator.
3) Nataraj stands perfectly balanced on the demon of illusion. Here he shows that he is always above illusion. What is interesting here is that Shiva does not stand on illusion except when in the form of Nataraj. Only when Shiva merges with Kali and truly understands who he is, does he rise above even his own illusion. Additionally, as he stands on illusion, he does so with perfect balance. With this perfect balance he demonstrates the aspect of the Universe where all is consistent and preserved and maintained.
4) Finally, Nataraj is surrounded by the blazing fire, his hair in the form of wildly flying dreadlocks, moving in wild and abandon as he dances through the stages of destruction, creation, and preservation. Yet, his face always contains what is going on internally for him- that of bliss and contentment.
Nataraj, as all forms of the Divine do, serves as an archetype for who and what we truly are. So, let’s dive a bit into this one and see what we might discover about ourselves.
1) Nataraj is completely united with his Shakti, Maha Kali.
Kali is the sacred Mother who is the purest form of the Divine that we hold within ourselves. She sits at the base of the spine, rising to remind us of who we are and how we can choose to experience ourselves in this world filled with illusion. The problem is that we set up natural resistance against our Mother, who is waiting for us to be ready to see the truth for what it really is.
So the question we ask to start this process might be, “Am I ready to live and express the ultimate truth of who I AM”. This is not a question to be taken lightly- for when we tell Kali that we are ready for her to manifest the truth and sever us from illusion, we need to be prepared for anything and everything. Are you ready to totally reconsider your identity, your job, your family structure, etc? Are you ready to question everything you have ever considered to be truth? When I first invited Kali into my life, I realized that I had work with her in the past without knowing it. This time however, knowing with full awareness who I was inviting into my life, she showed up with full force. I had the opportunity to reconsider everything in my life, my marriage, my family, my work, my life calling, my sexuality, my identity… absolutely everything. And though this sounds horrific, and in honesty at times it felt nothing less than horrific, it was well worth it. Kali afforded me the opportunity to see past the illusion that I had been trapped in and literally liberate me from fetters that I, nor any other, deserve to be bound by.
The “ultimate truth” is really about one’s ultimate bliss and liberation. So, the question then transforms into the desire for the inevitable result: “Am I ready to live and express my ultimate bliss and liberation?”.
2) Nataraj is completely encircled by a ring of fire. Fire represents the whole of everything.
As we dance our lives in the ring of fire and see false beliefs and traditions (illusions) that are being destroyed, we also hold the consciousness of knowing that we are being well taken care of. Yes, fire destroys, but by doing so it creates a void. The principle behind a void is amazing. Because of natural laws, a void is constantly attempting to be filled so that it comes into balance with its surroundings. When we have a void in our lives, one of two things happens; either we fill it with the same non-essential garbage with which it was filled previously, or we fill it with that which is really about our true identity. There is no mixing of the two. Through the law of entrainment there will always be movement towards one or the other but not both simultaneously. The beauty of this is that because we are conscious and sentient beings, we get to choose what we fill the void with. Understanding this, we have to look at what we are filling our lives with then. Are we moving towards the direction of liberation and joy centered on our oneness with the Divine, or something different?
Many years ago, in 1988, there was a great fire in Yellowstone. The fire seemed to ravage the forest and simply destroy. However, following the fire new life came forth. We are much like the Pinus Contorta Pine Tree. This tree produces pinecones that of course contain seeds, or new life. However, these cones have an incredibly strong resin and one of the few ways that the seeds can ever be released from the cones is through the intense heat of fire. Just a few years after the fires the ground was covered with these seedlings. We might compare ourselves to the beauty of some wildflowers that had not been seen at Yellowstone for decades. They were flowers- color, scents, beauty- that had been forgotten. Only through clearing away that which held their growth down were we exposed to such beauty. And interestingly enough, after a few years of no fire many of them were gone again. These wildflowers in all their beauty show us that we need the fire throughout our lives so that we are constantly bringing forward newness of being.
3) Nataraj stands perfectly balanced on the demon of illusion.
What is interesting here is that Nataraj allows himself to still be touched by illusion. He does not seem to punish illusion or disdain it, but simply rises above it. Yet, he doesn’t rise about it so far that he forgets about it.
Something important that I talk about quite a bit is maintaining an awake or an aware state, yet staying grounded in our world experience. And believe me, Nataraj demonstrates this beautifully with his delicate balance. He stands there with one foot in the world (illusion) while the other rises above, detached and removed from the illusion that this world attempts to snare us in. Enlightenment is often confused with samadhi. While samadhi is a beautiful and deep blissful union with the Divine, enlightenment is the process of grounding that state of union into our daily experience on this world.
One of the ways we are called to do this is through community. Many of us have lived the life of the hermit over and over again. Whether it was in a forest with our books, or in a cave in meditation or in a convent with a rosary, we lived a solitary life constantly engaged in a spiritual practice. But now as we enter the dawning of the Golden Age, that is not what is acceptable anymore. We are to be enlightened beings who live in communities and families. Keeping our enlightenment to ourselves is not really enlightenment at all. This means that as enlightened masters, we cook, we clean, we go shopping, we eat food, we have sex, we grow families, we work, etc. But we do it all above the illusion of the world. We understand that all of it- the food, the family, the work, the sex- all of it is simply experiential material for us to use to drive us deeper into an awareness of oneness not only with the Divine, but with the Divine in physical form (i.e., every other human living upon this world).
So, there is no escape for us. This world is what we have created in order to more fully understand our own divinity. It is our playground. And while we embrace it and live in it, we also don’t become absorbed by it. We raise one foot up and dance on top of it, remembering who we are and reveling in the balance we can learn to maintain.
4) Nataraj is surrounded by the blazing fire, his hair in the form of wildly flying dreadlocks, moving in wild abandon as he dances through the stages of destruction, creation, and preservation. Yet, his face always contains what is going on internally for him- that of bliss and contentment.
We each have this ability. We hear stories like that of Victor Frankl and marvel at what he endured and the level of consciousness he kept his mind at. However, Frankl and others are not the exception- at least they don’t have to be. Each of us the ability to be with the fire, to be with the dance, to be with the destruction, to be with the creation, to be with Shiva and Kali as they dance around us, destroying and transforming what we think to be our “demons” by bringing them out of the darkness into the newness of light.
It can all seem quite overwhelming. The thought of diving into the recesses of the mind, allowing ourselves to become completely open and vulnerable to the universe- truly this work is not for the faint of heart, but is unarguably for the honest of heart. Only when we are brutally honest with ourselves can we open up to the larger Self that is standing in the shadows waiting to be unveiled- the Self we once thought to be a demon. When we move from the heart center and simply open, we open up to all of our experiences with a measure of bliss and content. We can do this because we know that no matter what the appearance, the wheel is turning and something new is coming in. We delight in the destruction of this or that, because with divine sight we see that something incredibly new and expansive is in the act of being created. We gain peace because we know that when we are surrounded by fire, that it is simply a sign of the Divine working actively in our lives to bring about our liberation.
Again, I pose the question, “Am I ready to live and express my ultimate bliss and liberation?”.
If you are, then it is time. Light a fire. Let down your hair. Balance gently on the left foot as you raise the right foot off the earth. Turn up the music…and DANCE!
“When is it enough?” More and more frequently I hear this question, or those like unto it being asked. Even recently I have had to ask myself this same question.
For the last couple of years I have been a member on a non-profit board. When this opportunity first became available I thought that it wasn’t appropriate for me. I assumed that it would take up far too much time and resources to make it worthwhile; that over time I would lose my focus on my life’s work. However, I got real clear and Spirit instructed me to do so- that it would actually bring a blessing for both my work and for others. So with some anticipation and a lot of trepidation I moved forward.
Spirit was right. I have learned both conceptual and practical lessons that are assisting me with my life work. It also put me in contact with some soul-mates who are actively engaged in similar soul-path work. However, it has as of late been a drain- a drain on my resources, my time, and even my health. Most recently I walked away from a week-long meeting sick and exhausted. It was bad enough that I even had to go to a doctor- and eventually the hospital. On top of this I visited a curandera who had some very loving insights to share with me as she pulled some herbs and flowers for a cleansing ritual to rid me of negative energies. This all felt overwhelming because I am typically self-reliant and don’t need to go to these individuals, or have my wife work energetically on me. To say the least, I have resigned from the board and am doing much better.
In hindsight, I realize there are many lessons that come out of this. Probably the most pertinent one is about answering that all important question, “When is it enough?”. The Ascended Master Jesus speaks of being in the world but not of the world. I strive to be the “grounded-master”. I strive to hold on to my truth and remember who I AM, all while shopping, cooking, cleaning, answering emails, etc. But at some level I believe we have to move on to the next level. Jesus was working with spiritual infants in his time, trying to convince them of the truth. We are beyond that. We know who we are- we don’t have to be convinced of that. We know that we are simply extensions of Spirit, and that we are absolutely and divinely connected to each other. However, that knowledge comes at times in direct conflict with what others believe about their experience in the world. This is where we have to make the decision about what we will and will not tolerate. At times living in the world is like unto coming into contact with noxious fumes. Yes, we can hold our breath, but for how long?
At some point and with great balance, we need to create our own world. We need to create our own world and our own sacred space. It’s hard to “be in a home, but not have it be your home”. At some level, we must consider creating our own refuge and serving as a light for others in the distance.
We see this in some of the epoch tales and myths of our world. We hear stories of the valiant knight who has to give up all in order to make the great journey to retrieve something of great value. Though valiant, the knight has yet to prove his integrity and morality without the quest. The quest proves a path for the individual to come to a level of self-discovery regarding who they truly are and why they are here. They learn of their shadows- both the brilliance of the light and those things that might shame them. They grapple with their demons and in doing so learn how to live in inner balance and harmony with their inner world which then prepares them to live in balance and harmony with their outer world. We have all been on the quest. The quest in and of itself requires one leaving their own shamble of a world to go to one that contains some enlightened or uplifting message and power. Just as others have created worlds of light for us to be drawn to, we must also create worlds of light for others to pursue in their quest.
So no, this doesn’t all mean that we must pick up and go live in a commune somewhere. But this means that we do need to have a place of retreat. We need to have our own world that we can be part of- one that is kept sacred and pure, where we don’t have to hold our breath because of the poisonous gas in the air. Some may suggest that we should be capable of keeping our own vibration high enough to not have to worry about others. To that I answer, best of luck to you.
Part of this illusion we have created that we call the World is the fact that we are not pure spirit here, but that we live in bodies and we live with the psyche and the ego and with karmic patterns. Just as a player in a football game would never play throughout an entire game without resting at intervals, we cannot play this game without resting.
So, where is your World? Where is your light on a hill that cannot be hidden? Is it your home? Is it a room in your home? Is it your car? Is it your office space? Is it the garden outside?
In several of the traditions I follow you, we care for altars. Altars can be large or small, ornate or simple. They can contain things that are created by man, or they may be made entirely of stone and flowers and gifts directly from Earth. Regardless, we keep them, which means we care for them and clean them (we feed them spiritually), and then we sit in their presence (they feed us spiritually). Ultimately we realize that we are walking altars- that we both spiritually eat and then spiritually feed others. But before we can contain that energy within our bodies to its fullest capacity in a consistent way, we have our outer altars to play and work with.
So today, consider your alter. Consider what energy you sit in day in and day out. Though instructed to be in the world but not of the world, never were we instructed to sit forever in a place that does not support our work and our enlightenment. As an extension of Spirit/God/Goddess, you have created worlds throughout the universe. Take some time today to create a physical world for yourself to sit in as a refuge- your spirit will thank you for it.
I decided that talking about my perspective of I AM would be a good way to start off this blog. I went back to some of my religious roots and found quotes and text and to be quite honest, it all got to be rather academic which is not what I want this blog to be all about. And so as I kept trying to figure out what direction the posting should take, I got a clear hit: it’s not about people cognitively knowing that they are God/Goddess, but feeling it as an experience of one’s true Self.
Though it took me a while to realize what to write, I really do get this. In fact, I believe that is what our pain is really about in this world. Frankly, if we lived everyday within the experience of the true Self there would be very little discomfort. Instead of battling with the ego we would love it and care for it, knowing that it is there in order to help us traverse this world experience. Instead of maintaining a bleak relationship with the shadow self that consists of us pushing it further and further away, we would simply step out of the way and let it reflect light in its own brilliance. We don’t though… and it seems no matter how many times we remember, we yet again forget. So I want to talk about the process of forgetting and remembering.
Many of us have been in the state where we have forgotten, and have yet to remember. A growing number though have had faint remembrances that are often earth-moving, yet within 72 hours we all but forget them. My personal belief is that we set up this experience on earth for two reasons. One is for the divine play of it all, which I might talk about at another time. The other reason though is for the fun of the challenge of remembering. When I look at the word remember I automatically see two morphemes: “re:, and “member”. When we look at the word member it actually means one part of a whole. So when we add “re” to it we are engaging in the process of returning from a part of something to the whole thing.
This all makes sense when we realize we are all individuated pieces of the same thing. In Sanatan (Hinduism) we understand this clearly as Narayan dreams and from him/her flows forth both the gods, demigods, demons, etc. Even in LDS theology God creates spirit form from a common intelligence- us all having our roots connected and inseparable from one thing.
We are individuated incarnations of God. When we really get this we begin to understand then why it is that we must remember. We remember because that is our whole purpose in being here. It is not such a stretch to imagine that this life is nothing more than a game. Think of how many people you know who love to play games? Whether they are board, card, or computer games we get sucked into the experience and thereby feel the highs and lows of participating in the game. Some individuals have so restricted their existence and life that the only time they really do feel is when they are playing on-line games and are able to experience themselves in a removed illusion.
So then if the goal is to re-member, or to reconnect with that infinite Beingness who is the source of all things, how do we do so?
Step one: we skip to the end of the book. I have this horrible habit of reading the last several paragraphs of a book before I start it. I think subconsciously I feel like if the last few paragraphs look like they are worth it then the first 300 pages might be too. At the end of this book we realize we were never “dismembered” to begin with. We see this in movies and sitcoms all the time- the victim who often becomes the hero wakes up at the very end and realizes that the drama was all just a dream. Yet, this new hero wakes up a different person- we see them walk or talk differently and we sense that even though it was just a dream, it somehow changed them and that it changed them for the better. So in our first step we recognize that this is all just a dream. We realize that nothing is really all that deadly, because nothing can destroy our eternal nature. We realize that no one is ever lost because we all come from and go back to the same exact Thing.
Step Two: We place our attention on it. Many people don’t know how to manage their pain because when they feel it, it is the only thing they can feel. And unfortunately, it’s not that the goal of feeling it is to sit with it and be with it and care for it, but it is to simply resist it. This person always ends up miserable because first of all, resistance is a sure fire way of making something bigger than it really is. But secondly, anytime we put our attention on something, we make it more powerfully present in our lives. If right now for instance you decided to put all your attention into your pinky, you would be amazed. It would feel new and fresh, full of life and energy and blood. This too happens when we choose to place our attention on ourselves as God. We soon come to find out that the fears and disturbances are much smaller than the presence of God in our lives. And it’s not about finding the miracles either; it’s about sitting in our own miraculous, yet normal day-to-day, Presence.
An Exercise: Remembering
Part A: Find a comfortable place where you can relax, but won’t fall asleep. Begin a series of deep yet gentle breaths through the nose. As you breathe in, visualize yourself inhaling the Presence of Spirit that permeates everything around you, including the air. Allow yourself to breathe this in and feel it permeate through your body- no separation between what it is and what you are. Allow yourself to have the lenses removed and see yourself as one and the same thing.
Part B: Begin a dialogue with God as You. Part of being God is being self-aware, so there is no shame in carrying on a conversation with yourself. 
Start with your toes, seeing yourself as either the divine masculine or feminine incarnation of God. Notice what area of your body you feel drawn to. Work all the way up to the crown of your head. If adventurous, work out from your body into what some would refer to as the auric field. Feel yourself as Divine and as Light. Experience yourself as utterly Complete and Whole.
The key to this exercise is doing it so many times that you are in a consistent state of remembrance. It is simple enough to re-member when we are sitting amongst our candles and crystals and oils, but how do we re-member ourselves when we are at the office or with the kids? This level of consistent re-membering typically comes through a deep spiritual practice. In this case, practice is not only a noun, but a verb, so it means you have to do something. As you choose to re-member more and more often you will find it harder and harder to forget who you are in any circumstance.
Imagine what it would be like if each of us in this world actually remembered who we all were? Truly then would we have entered the great Age of Enlightenment!
